Secret Life of Pets

I have one simple requirement for the house I buy. It has to have a fenced in yard with 3+ acres for my dog to run around and play. Dogs are the definition of unconditional love. The best cuddle bugs to keep you warm in the winter. They are free spirited and happy go lucky with their tails in the air. I don’t think a house is a home without a dog.

Dogs are always keeping you in your toes like plumbing. That morning you wake up and the pipes froze. Like am I going to have a tv remote when I wake up? Shrodingers tv. I equally can and cannot watch tv but I won’t know until I walk in my livingroom.

This praying mantis is the culprit

Not to say I like to trick my dog but if you say anything in a high pitched voice, your dog will be just as excited. He will match your energy. Like if you say *high pitched* “oh my, you got a teenie belly. Look at dah baby.” He’ll be putty in your hands. We’ve all met the girl that talks to her pup like that. Not guilty.

I would accept a cat if he’s anything like my cat Tigger. I have weird nicknames for him. Butter buns. Peanut butter head. Baby boo boo bear. I am indeed a crazy cat lady. The best thing about cats is you got to work for their love. Dogs would love you if you were a pile of dirty laundry. But a cat and their owners relationship is special. They give mutual respect.

I made a custom “mouse pad” with this photo

My cat drops his glass dish on the floor and says in what I can only imagine is a chain smoker voice. “FOOD NOW!” And he points. He does. Plus it’s very nice to wake up at 3am when your cat is at his climax of PCP. The only explaination why my cat was sitting on top of my flat screen attempting to get on the shelf at 3am. Crazy stuff.

My cat has a thing for string. When he was about a year old he started walking with a toy between his legs. It was a long string toy. And he tried to keep it between his 4 paws. And he puts a sparkle ball in his mouth and kneads at the blanket while meowing. It’s the weirdest motions. You would almost think he’s thrusting. It’s creepy. But that’s Tigger.


I have a black cat who knows he is black. Like a Shadow cat. Because he’s laying there in bread Loaf position on black furniture and opens his green eyes at you whilst you sleep. Or atleast try. When it’s all can do not to see his peepers creepin’ in the dark.

I was dancing outside and seen my cats both watching me in the widow. And you’d think after being spotted, they would have ran. But they just continued to make me uncomfortable. Best seat in the house I guess.

I don’t suppose cats give a rats behind when they do something wrong. The black cat, names Reaper gets up on the counter often and when I first got him, I came at him from the livingroom. Didn’t even get up and he’d run. Now he just looks at me like “Try. Try me. ” or will actually start licking his paws. He truly does not care.

My cat tigger is my exterminator. Once, and picture this, I seen him step on a spider, lift his hand…paw that had a motion of a hand. He looked dead at it and ate it. Then went on about his day. They kill bugs together sometimes.

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